Why hello!
I have been utterly crap with blogging lately, mainly down to the fact that I feel that I haven't even had five minutes to sit down with my laptop and just type! Roll on Summer when college is over for good (halle-fucking-lujah) the work is handed in, i'm working three days a week and I have the summer to just do whatever I please. My plans involve trips to Liverpool, Brighton, London, Cadbury's World and maybe a cheeky trip abroad.. who knows? Now this is all good and well but these are just the plans within my mind and although I have every intention of going about them, we all know that I'll spend a good 3 + weeks just sat out my back garden, sleeping in the sun (or most probably rain storm in Wales) complete with an unlimited amount of ice lollies. Oh the life I live, fun fun fun, too much fun.
I am now completely going off track and what I actually want to discuss today is one word, six letter, a word in which I always refer back to. Dreams. No I don't mean the dream's that you have in your sleep, I'm talking about real life, real life goals, achievements, things that you want so badly it hurts.
Now when it comes to Dream's, I am the world greatest dreamer. However the sad factor in all of this is that it's not very often that dream's come true. Over the last few years my life has been the definition of an 'emotional roller coaster'. Life has well and truly been rather difficult, it's been one thing after another and at times a tad unbearable. No it's a sob story, it's just life and life isn't always pretty. However if I know anything, life gets better, love heals heartache and you learn to forgive, forget, grow, pick yourself back up and come back stronger. It's a cliche but never has it been so true.
For a long time I put my dreams on the back burner, always making the excuse that it 'wasn't the right time for me' or that 'thing's are too messy at the moment'. I don't have any excuses anymore, if I want something I've got to go and get it and put myself out there. I have nothing to hide behind anymore, nothing to drag me down and in fact that makes it all the more daunting. I've wanted to start living my life for a very long time now and i'm so so ready to do so. University has been my dream for such a long time and no matter how many times I try and talk myself out of it, it always manages to find a way back into my head and ultimately my heart. It's something that I want to badly and never did I think it could be a possibility. I'm not going to say too much too soon, but for once in my life I actually feel that it could be a possibility. I could actually do this. It's scary and exciting and makes me kind of want to be sick all at the same time but i've never felt more ready for anything in my life. It involves moving 4 hours away from home which is a massive deal for someone who once upon a time couldn't imagine life away from the comfort of her family home. I want this though and I will get it, at whatever costs.
I'll leave my inspirational/rant/from the heart/rambling post there before shit get's even deeper and serious.
Just remember that no matter what trials or tribulations life may bring you, if you want something badly enough don't be afraid of attempting to achieve your dreams. The fear of failure will only hold you back, God knows I know this to be true.
Until next time,
Lucy
x
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