As i'm sat in bed, i'm currently still recovering from a week long case of severe tonsillitis, which may I add has been well.. gross. I've not worn so much as a coat of mascara for a week nor have I left my house since Thursday morning, and only then that was to sit in the doctors surrounded by what appeared to be Cardiff's most wanted! It's more than fair to say that I've not been looking or feeling my best and although i'm feeling a lot better, I am however finding it incredibly difficult to find a walk way through my room, seeing as it's littered with tablet boxes, tissues, empty slush puppy cups and ice lolly wrappers.. dear god I ooze class.. i think not.
Before I ramble on and completely lose sight of the topic in question, I shall just put it out there than whilst being in my sick bed i've had time to reflect and think about certain things. One of which is relationships and fellow singletons.
In my opinion relationships can be a slight pain in the arse. Granted there are some lovely loved up people in this world and that's all fine and dandy, but for me I just struggle with the whole concept at times. At nineteen i've had a couple of relationships and the odd 'thing' but in all of that i've only ever had one that to this day i'd class as 'serious'. The truth is i'm not a serious person. I don't like being serious and I don't like the whole 'settling down' thing.
When my first and only 'serious' relationship ended it was one that had been a tad turbulent and one that had pushed me to my absolute limits at times, therefore after it ended I think it may have put me off.. for a while. When it eventually ended I not only lost a boyfriend but I lost a best friend and for the first time in my life I actually felt like i'd properly lost something. I hated that feeling and vowed to save myself for a relationship that was worth something. One that was worth the good and the bad and everything that came in-between. At the moment I just don't really care for anything serious, not only that but I have zero time for relationships and if i'm not in work, college or out with friends then i'm asleep because I fear that I may have a narcolepsy (which is my substitute for lazy bitch).
In addition to my sleep addiction I also feel that i'd be a tad too selfish for a relationship. Lately i've returned to my love affair with MAC lipsticks and i'd much rather spend my money on my current beauty love than any man who wants to walk into my life. Let's face it I just like spending my hard earned money on myself and there's bugger all wrong with that!
At a pre-drinks shin dig the other day my best friend Lauren rudely reminded me that I was the only single person in the room. Not only did she remind me but she then also (not so cleverly) highlighted me to the fact that three of their boyfriends were named Dan. Suddenly I felt like I needed to run out of the house and make a proposition to the first Dan I met, (completely joking, but i'll forgive you Lau.. bitch). Granted there were only five of us but then I thought about it, I really was the only single girl in the room and for once I felt rather liberated by this knowledge. You four can look but can't touch where as iiiiiiiiii (am once again joking, but what a thrilling thought aye?) In all seriousness though I found that it really just didn't bother me and that pleased me greatly.
I'm not saying that 100% of the time I have this surge of 'strong independent woman' and of course there are times where the thought crosses my mind that 'maybe it would be nice', however it's come and gone within seconds and I then find myself wrestling to open the stiff freezer door in the hope of freeing and eating the trapped love of my life.. fab ice lollies. You see that's the beauty of the Bridget Jones style singleton, there main source of interaction is either with a food related item or we spend more time than the average woman deciding on which knickers are suitable for the day. Comfort always wins.
I can do what I want whenever I want to do it. I don't always have to look all prepped, primed and pristine for a man in my life.. not to say that I resemble something from Planet of The Apes, but you get the jist. I love the freedom that I have and i truly don't have time for anyone or anything bar myself at the moment. I'm more than content with living in my own little bubble at the moment, however that's not the say if Ryan Gosling knocked my door that i'd turn him down.. because Lord knows that would be a crime. I'm just happily single right now but like everything in life, you never know what's just around the corner.
Until next time,
Lucy
x
