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Let me just start by asking, do you realise just how easy you have it right now? I highly doubt it. You're sixteen and little do you know it but in just one year you're going to leave high school, go to prom, have the summer of your life, find and ultimately lose love and above all else you're going to grow up a hell of a lot.
Let's talk about high school, Rumney High School to be exact. Yes it's not perfect and it's certainly no 5* building but it's a place that holds a special place in your heart and a place that will forever be in your greatest of memories. The window's are made up of different types of plastic, the smell of damp is overwhelming and you can't walk down a corridor without thinking that the roof was going to cave in, but believe it or not it was your safe haven. It is so much more than just a school to you and once you leave you'll feel as though it's some sort of time capsule. You started in Rumney High as an eleven year old child who was scared of everything and everyone and look at you now, look how far you've come! You've made friends who will remain with you for the rest of your life and of course some who you'll come to find vanished as quickly as they came. No matter what people say about that school, nobody can deny that it wasn't full of characters, people who will stick out in your mind for their quirks, kindness and a few for their naughty streak, but you wouldn't have it any other way. You'll moan about the place and claim that you 'just can't wait to leave', but the truth is you're only saying that because that's what everybody else is saying. You didn't want to leave. That school gave you the absolute best five years of your life and without it you can't help but question whether things will ever be this good again. My answer to that is no, no it won't be. Dad once said that 'your school days are the best days of your life'. You didn't believe him at the time, but trust me as always he was so so right. What I can tell you is that you really did make the most of your time there and you accomplished what you set out to do. You left with probably better grades than you ever thought you'd get and to date it still remains your most loved achievement, so well done Luc. You owe a lot to that place and you know it, it made you the person that you are and it took away that fearful child and produced a strong willed, brave person so don't ever forget that a single environment can set you on the path to your potential. Don't ever forget where you came from and keep it with you wherever your life takes you.
The Summer of 2011
Two words to describe this Summer? Life changing. In all honesty it was the Summer that was never suppose to be as good as it was. You left school in a friendship group that you thought you'd have for life.. although it didn't even make it til' the Summer. However you still cherish every single memory with those girls and as always fate works in strange ways. So strange in fact that you actually re-built some of those friendships that you thought you'd lost, thankfully. Dealing with the breakdown of your friendship group you were actually quite pessimistic about this Summer.. until one evening, one discussion and one spur of the moment camping trip occurred. A camping trip that actually changed everything for the better. Off you went on a 4 day camping trip with let's face it, the most random bunch of people you could humanly find. Some of which you were not remotely close to in school, some who you were close with in the past and some who looking back were just meant to be there. It was a last minute camping trip to a simple field in Porthcawl that in all honesty should never have worked, but for some reason that I am forever grateful for.. it did. That trip changed everything. It gave you new friends and re-united you with old and bizarrely gave you a brand new friendship group overnight. You all enjoyed yourselves so much that you actually went back to the exact same location just under three weeks later, the friendships were sealed and you became a little mis-matched family. It didn't stop there either, we spent the whole summer as a group spending days at the lake, over each others houses for BBQ's, trips to the beach and just making the absolute greatest memories. You'll be delighted to know that even now, three years later you all still talk about the hilarious moment's from those camping trips and the Summer that without a doubt changed everyone for the better. Of course things don't always stay that good forever and currently we all have busy lives, work commitments and sadly we find it difficult to get together as a group. On a brighter note, we are hoping to arrange a camping reunion trip for this year, exciting stuff! Where ever we go and whatever we do, I know that no matter what happens in the future we will always be friends. We were those 16 year old kids who shared that one amazing Summer that would just be impossible for any of us to forget.
And finally..
I wish I could come back to you my sixteen year old self. I would shake the life out of you and pop cocktail sticks in between your eyes to simply open them for you to see that he's truly not worth it! Yes, him, that bastard who you wasted a good two or so years on. Lucy stop being so blind, stop making excuses for him and finally stop thinking that you're going to be able to be his saving grace. You're not. He's a damaged person with a hell of a lot of baggage, so don't you dare for one minute even think of carrying some of it for him… too late.. you did.
Above all else I wish that I could stop you from getting hurt in the middle of it all, because it's going to sting like nothing that you've ever felt before and it will take a hell of a long time for it to heal. He'll move on with his life and you'll do the same with yours once you stop going back and forth like a bloody yo-yo. On a positive note and even now I can't believe i'm saying this but it was all a great life lesson. It allows you to have something to compare future relationships with. It'll be a life long reminder that you never want to get yourself involved anything close to what this 'relationship' was. It toughens you up and you do get over it for good. As predicted you both move on, however you're given the opportunities to do something with your life where as his path took away any dreams that he 'once' had and I shall leave you with that. You had the last laugh Luc, you always knew you would.
If you could write a letter to your sixteen year old self, what would it say? What would you change? What wouldn't you change? Would you not change a thing?
It's amazing to think that if you knew back then what you know now some of the drama, hurt, disappointment may have been prevented. However I know that personally I wouldn't change even a second of my past because good or bad and no matter how cliche this may be, it's made me the person that I am today.. and i'm absolutely fine with that.
'What defines you is how you rise after falling.'
Until next time,
Lucy
x
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